11 Comments
User's avatar
J Altazar's avatar

Going in for Episode 2

T.H. Meyer's avatar

Yay! A time jump happens this Thursday, with my main character as an adult.

J Altazar's avatar

Scary 👻 Floating in the bed? Soulless leaden Monster. 🍿

The Writing Nutrition Nerd's avatar

Loved this! Will be pursuing this read!

T.H. Meyer's avatar

Thanks for the read and encouragement!

The Writing Nutrition Nerd's avatar

Of course 🫶

Non-Reformed Bookworm's avatar

I'm definitely reading more!

T.H. Meyer's avatar

Thanks! Always an honor to have someone read. 😊

The Warden’s Archive's avatar

This pulled me in right away…the atmosphere is really strong, and the sensory detail makes the fear feel very real. I especially liked how physical everything felt….the smells, the textures, the way the shadow moves.

I did notice toward the end my attention drifted slightly, and I think it’s just because there’s so much imagery layered together that it gets a little hard to track. I found myself wanting a bit more grounding there to stay fully connected.

But overall, really compelling opening. It definitely holds tension well.

T.H. Meyer's avatar

Thanks for the feedback! I write without the sensory always being a priority and then tighten it up when editing, perhaps too much. 🤪

The Warden’s Archive's avatar

I feel this so much…tightening is honestly one of my biggest struggles too 😅

It’s such a weird balance between making it immersive and not over-layering it. Yours is strong though the atmosphere is definitely there. It might just be a matter of choosing which details carry the moment.